Music Mondays

I've written many times that I am surrounded with extraordinary people. We are still so young and free, but time has flown by and high school happened already a while ago (even though it feels like yesterday). In the midst of this whirlwind that is pulling us into our own callings and destinies, it has been one of my greatest privileges to observe everyones journey and be part of the process. I know they are created to leave a mark to say the least and I can't wait for the rest of the world to see what they have to offer.

One of my people is this lady right here, Dea Juris. She's part of the duo Eda Wolf and they just released their first single a couple weeks ago. My girl Dea is one of the bravest women I know. After high school she decided to follow her dream and left for NYC to study what was always in her heart, music. She is an incredibly fascinating vocalists, the depth and richness of her voice combined with her influences of Jazz and good old R'n'B create a sound that I could listen to all day and night long. She's not just a beautiful singer, but also writes and composes as well. Dea partnered with producer FLWRS (Emiliano Flowerman) on this song for the first time and luckily for us listeners it didn't end up as a one time collaboration, but they will be releasing an EP sometime soon!

Dea wrote the lyrics while visiting her family in Lebanon. Slow Speed speaks about letting go of the pressure, familiar to many of us, of having to perform, achieve and succeed at a certain pace. Letting go of that striving and comparing since life is not a race and we all have our own path we're on.

Let this be an anthem for you to take those moments and "breathe deep". When life doesn't move at the pace you're wanting it to, don't despise the slow speed. Usually in those times deep process is working it's magic inside of us, making them our most defining seasons.

xxx

Keys To Love

Todays post is maybe a little different from previous ones. I was at the gym with my PT (my friend who has received that as an honouree name) and like always, our conversations covered pretty much all aspects of life. After our workout we hit the stretching mats and ended up on the subject of relationships. My friend made a comment that made me feel honoured and sad at the same time. She said that she only knew one honestly happy couple, which was me and my husband. I felt honoured that she saw our relationship in such a way and that we can represent a happy relationship to her, but I was overwhelmed thinking that it's so rare and couldn't believe we were the only ones she could refer to. I met my husband almost ten years ago and I married young. Many thought I had lost my mind committing to someone at such a young age, but it has been one of the best decisions of my life. Relationships are never easy and they require a lot of hard work and sacrifice, but the gift you receive in return can't be measured nor compared. There are no magic quick fixes, like there hardly ever are in life, because it's all about our hearts and hearts don't always follow logic or reasoning. We are very much at the beginning of our journey and I know there is still a lot of ground to be conquered, but we've been lucky to get great advice and also learn from our mistakes. I think I could write endlessly on this subject, contemplating on all it's aspects, but today I wanted to just collect a couple ground rules that are at the base of our relationship.


People

I believe that the people around us define us, including our relationships. As a strong and confident person you can survive all by yourself, but I don't think anyone can thrive and reach their full potential without solid relationships. One of the most important tools in our relationship has been that were not only vulnerable with each other, but we both have our people, friends and family, that we're vulnerable with on a regular basis. I've talked with several people who are afraid of sharing parts of their relationship with others, because they don't want to speak ill of their significant other, but I think that can turn out to be a very mean trap. We all have blind spots and I think many disasters can be avoided when we invite people to shed light on them. Speaking ill of and sharing in the search of enlightenment are two completely different things. Who you choose to be your people is also very important. You want to find someone who pours water on the fires of disconnection and gas on the fire of love.

Renewing The Covenant

Almost seven years ago we said "I do" in front of over a hundred people, a priest and God. We made a covenant to love each other until death do us part. To keep that covenant alive we need to renew it every day, multiple times. We constantly confess our love for each other, in words and actions. I can't even count how many times a day we say "I love you" and we won't let the other leave anywhere without a kiss. It's the small and simple everyday choices that make a difference and define the direction of your relationship. Our words create worlds and when we confess our love to each other, even on the more challenging days, we not only remind each other about the true feelings of our heart, but we also remind ourselves that yes, this is the person I have chosen to love.

Love First

I've written on this probably a few times before… If we want to be loved, we have to be willing to love first. I had my moment where I realised that I was constantly focusing on how my husband is not loving me right with this and that, but wasn't putting any effort into figuring out how I could love him better. The moment I decided to love him regardless of his actions (remember, I'm not talking about an abusive relationship here), it made a huge difference and I got to learn more about what unconditional love, the most purest form of love, really is about. Love is the most powerful force on this earth and showering someone with it is going to make a difference. Shifting my focus from all the negativity also opened my eyes to see what a beautiful and wonderful man he is, flaws and all. Emphasising on the gold inside of the other person instead of always picking on the flaws, creates an environment for us to grow and become the best we can be. How well would you work on an assignment if you had someone constantly pointing out every flaw in your work to you? Empowering the good instead of fighting the bad is often the most fruitful and enjoyable option, in all areas of life.

This is in no way an exhaustive lis, but rather a few keys (from a very heavy keychain) that we've found extremely important. All of these tools can be used with any kind of relationship; family, friends, lovers. I definitely don't think we've figured it all out, an like I said, we still have so much to walk through, but if our lessons learned can be of any help to any relationship you're in right now, this post has found its purpose.



xxx

Photos by Eino Manner

Collard Shirt: COS

Black Knit: COS

Blazer: Zara

Jeans: Urban Outfitters

Booties: Acne

Music Mondays

You ever have those evenings when you already feel ready for bed at 10pm and somehow end up making banana pancakes with melted dark chocolate and watching Netflix until 3.30am? Well that was my last night. When my confused body, used to it's routine, woke me up at 9am, I felt more like a fish on dry water than anything else. I got up to make some breakfast, went back to bed, got up again to eat it just to end up taking another nap on the couch. When I finally managed to get myself up from my careless slumber, my husband saw my murky face and came to my rescue. He represented me with a shot of black coffee with a snickering smile, because for some obscure reason he finds pleasure in trying to get me addicted to coffee. Against all my Finnish roots, I've never been a coffee drinker. I enjoy a nice mochachino or latte every now and then, but I honestly can't have more since I'm really sensitive to caffein. The amount of coffee in my mug was literally a small shot and as a brave girl, who won't settle for feeling drained all day, I took it and felt it's power! Caffeine literally takes me from zero to a hundred in no time (just like that pill in the movie Limitless). And that's how today turned from a sleepy afternoon to a maniac dance party with me, myself and I and my man laughing at me like I finally lost all my marbles. After calming down from my release of incredible dance moves, I was ready to face the day and actually got things done extra efficiently.

Ray can turn any Monday blues into the brightest sunshine, with or without the help of caffeine. So turn the speakers up, strike a pose and baby shake that thing!

xxx

Weakness & Strength

"Your brokenness is someone else's breakthrough that is dependent upon your vulnerability." 

-Lyle Philips

My dear friend shared this quote on Facebook just a day after I had a deep conversation with another friend of mine on the very subject of vulnerability. As I've shared multiple times before, I've been a very insecure person in the past. The process of becoming confident has been like getting to the core of an onion, peeling off one layer of lies at a time. An insecure person can't really love others fully, because you can't give what you don't have. I've been blessed with ridiculously talented and inspiring people around me and I am confident that all of my friends are going to change the world, each one in their own special way. So when I was still mostly listening to the voices of fear, I was nothing less than intimidated by the greatness in them. I wasn't really able to celebrate their victories, because I was afraid they were removing them from my grasp. I believed that there wasn't enough for everyone and we were competing for the same spots and the limited attention achieved by it. 

The other night we were talking the night away with my friend on our favourite subject, what it is to be a strong woman, why women keep on competing with each other and how the world will be a different place when women stand united, not only with each other but with men as well. In the moment I felt very powerful and decided to be vulnerable and share how just recently I had had a moment were I envied her. And in the past there had been more than just moments, she is such an amazing and inspiring person that I had felt small next to her quite a few times. She shared how she had  felt the same way about me and I couldn't believe my ears. Why would this stunning woman ever feel in any ways insecure around me? It felt like a scheme was revealed, like someone was trying to keep us at a distance from each other so that the power of us coming together and using our strengths as one would never happen.

That moment of vulnerability opened up something so rich and deep that I've been unraveling it for days after. It created a breakthrough for both of us that we have only seen the beginning of.

We often fear that when we reveal our weaknesses it could destroy us, but it's often the polar opposite. I've shared about the effects on being vulnerable on this blog before, how it releases us from shame and neutralises the power our fears and negative thoughts can have over us. It liberates us to be completely free. Even though with being vulnerable there are numerous benefits for ourselves, it doesn't only stop there. We don't realise how so many others are walking through the same issues and us opening our mouth can actually set them free as well. So many people out there are going through life thinking they are the only ones battling with certain issues, when in reality most of us deal with very similar stuff. That is one of the reasons why I even wanted to start writing this blog. Walking through the trenches of growing up to becoming the woman I am today has been quite a battle for me and I noticed how so many around me were fighting the same fights. If my journey can give hope to even one person, I am more than grateful!

Vulnerability and strength are very much tied in together and I believe that to become as powerful as our potential would let us, we need to be able to embrace them both. When we're not afraid or ashamed of our weaknesses, we will discover the strength to change the world.

xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Knit: Zara

Leather Pants: Rock'n'Blu

Handbag: Michael Kors

Shoes: Zara

Sunglasses: Rayban

Music Mondays

The reason I post Music Mondays is because I think music is probably the most natural version of the supernatural, all art is. Many of the greatest songwriters tell how in their process of creating music, the inspiration and ideas come from somewhere, like downloads into their minds. Whatever you believe in, I think music, and all creativity, is proof of something greater than just the visible and physical world that we experience with our five senses. It speaks of something magical and majestic that can only be experienced with our hearts. 

I've been listening to Coldplay's Ghost Stories on repeat for a long time now and it really is my favourite of their production. The moment I heard it, beginning to end, it had a different feel to it than all the previous ones, even though I've loved all their albums. Chris Martin has said in multiple interviews how on this album he was very honest and vulnerable with his lyrics and I think that exactly shines through and can be felt even all the way here in still pretty cold Finland. I've said this before, but it's the rawness and realness a person puts into music, that sets it apart from the rest. It's the substance that moves people, changes atmospheres and inspires, more than any fancy melodies, thought through lyrics or perfect techniques (even though all of those play important parts in great music). Even though I have many favourites on this album, today I picked "A Sky Full Of Stars" because it made cry from pure joy. That doesn't happen too often, so this is a really special song to me. It's actually quite different from the rest of the songs on the album, with it's up-tempo, EDM kind of feel. Chris Martin shared that even though the album seems to be a heart-break story, it still turns into a hopeful statement of unconditional love and to me this song is a celebration of that. 

If this song doesn't make you ball like it did me, I'm pretty sure it'll get you on your feet dancing. Because life's just too beautiful to not to.

xxx

Conqueror

Hard work does pay off. Or better said, doing the right thing pays off.

Honestly, I used to be very far from a hard worker. Actually I was pretty much a quitter. There, I said it. For many years I lived out the identity of a quitter, because I believed it to be my own. In that victim mentality I drew very close lines around me that marked the edges of my abilities, which in return kept me from never experiencing anything outside of them.

Now that I've been building up my life on my real identity, which is summed up: I'm the beloved, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made and I'm created to love as fearlessly as I am loved, my life has changed dramatically. In the midst of all the process, I've bumped my head quite a few times, but the goal has been to always get back on my feet and continue the journey, even if the distance walked is only visible with a microscope. Just like in sports, there are these season where nothing seems to advance and then suddenly you experience this leap of growth. It's like there are seeds planted inside of me and at times they grow their roots deep before shooting out any visible parts. Since I had my past with entertaining the thoughts of a quitter, after re-defining myself I still kept on fighting the old devil and ended up trying to revive something that was already dead. Quickly I noticed that instead of focusing on the negative and what I'm not trying to be, it's more fruitful and life-giving to place all my attention on the truth of my real identity and living those truths out, day by day. Some days I succeed like Usain Bolt on a 100 meter track and on others I fall far from that plan.
Like the great Lauryn Hill said it: "Life is peaks and valleys. Some people explain that as good and bad times…but I actually think it's learning, mastership, learning, mastership." At times there can be a great gap, or valley, before we hit the top of a mountain again, but it's the journey that makes the view on the peak so much sweeter. It's with every single step, that we become the conqueror of that mountain. And in the end, the journey becomes our actual story, the one that we'll tell our grand-children over and over again.



xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Maxi Dress: Noisy May

Boots: H&M

Leather Jacket: Zara

Beanie: Urban Outfitters

Music Mondays

I've been wanting to post a Kelly Rowland song for quite a while and today's the day! Her most recent album "Talk A Good Game" has a pretty honest R'n'B feel to it, which I appreciate. Songs like "You Changed" and "Street Talker" have me lip-syncing and dancing for days. From her previous production "Work (freemason remix)" is the bomb. I actually re-discovered it lately and it's become my go to song for any time I need an energy boost. Today I felt more like Red Wine, with it's smooth and alluring sound, taking me somewhere completely else…like a night walk in a never-sleeping city, a hot and humid day in the tropics or a lazy evening on a boat somewhere on clear waters.

Where does it take you?







xxx

Mining

Weeks just seem to go by and it's already March! Before I would have been ridden by anxiety by this time, because I felt like too little was achieved and too much time had gone by. It's almost like a small miracle for me, to actually be ok with the process I'm in and not worry about on what time schedule everything is happening. These past years I've seen how beautifully everything comes together, even the painful things, when I dare to let go of my possessive control and allow my heart to lead. I'm in the middle of reading Steve Jobs biography and what seems to come up time and time again is how he valued his "instinct" and that inner voice that couldn't be explained by reasoning (that, and the fact that he was a very difficult person to be around). It's pretty interesting that because of those vibes he listened to, computer technology was forever changed. I believe we are all specifically made for a certain purpose and if we have the chance to grow up in a healthy and encouraging environment, those passions will surface naturally, leading us to the very things we are created to do. For those of us who have experienced setbacks and obstacles along our way, we have to grab our shovels and start digging through the disappointments, hurts and hindrances to get back to the root of our existence. Life can sometimes be filled with negative circumstances trying to steal our joy and passion for life, but we should never let it quench our fire.

This week I heard a story of the gold mine in Round Mountain, Nevada. When the workers were excavating the earth, they came across an old mine shaft that was dug who knows how long ago. The mine shaft was a mile long (1,6km) and stopped 70 meters short of the gold mine. Whoever the miners were, they had stopped 70 meters before hitting one of the largest gold mines in the US.

At times we will face situations where everything seems to be against us and our circumstances try to convince us to quit. Quit on that dream, that passion, our heart. Reasoning would always want to retrieve to plan B when that small voice is leading us to press on further with the A plan. It's usually exactly in front of the doors of our destiny where the dogs of doom are making up a scary scene. No greatness has been achieved without a fight. You might doubt whether you have it in you to win that fight and that's why I'm here to remind you of how wonderfully you are made. It's not until those difficult moments that we find out our strength and it's in the darkness that our light will shine the brightest. As the battle becomes more intense, your victory is probably just around the corner and the darkest hour is right before dawn.

So please, don't give up. Your gold mine might be just a few meters away.



xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Trench Coat: Topshop

Sweater: COS

Printed Pants: Zara

Shoes: Nike Air Max

Leather Bag: Vintage

Scarf: Zara

Music Mondays

I've been waiting eagerly for JoJo to come out with new music. Last year she released a few songs on sound cloud right before Valentines Day accompanied with the hashtag #LoveJo. She covered the legendary Anita Bakers "Caught up in the Rapture", giving it a modern spin, but for today I picked her version of the traditional song "Glory". This woman has been blessed with a strong yet smooth sound and this song really puts the spotlight on her beautiful falsetto. She was only 14 years old when her debut album came out and I bet most of you are familiar with her hits "Leave (Get out)" and "Too little Too late". Now she's grown up and her sound has matured with her, being better than ever. This song gave me goose bumps the first time I heard it and I hope you enjoy it just as much as I do. 

Have a glorious Monday!

xxx