Music Mondays

As you might have noticed, I took the liberty to take a short break for the holidays but don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you :) 

For me Christmas isn't only the time to focus on family, but it gives a moment to reflect and meditate on the past year and start preparing for the new one coming. I know this can be a season of grief and distress for those with difficult or painful circumstances... I love my family, more than anything, but it can be challenging at times being under one roof and having the pressure of, well, a Merry Christmas. I've noticed how easy it is for me to create a mask to hide behind. Even though we had a wonderful time with my family, I'm such an emotional and sensitive being that these kind of occasions stir things up in me and ironically it's sometimes the closest people before whom I get scared of being vulnerable with. I'm not able to shake the memories of what Christmas used to be like when I was a kid and when my family used to be whole. In all honesty, I don't even want to forget. Those memories are painful, but beautiful in all their rawness. Regret and living in the past are not something I tolerate but being honest to myself and processing through what my heart is bringing up has been a key to healing and building a solid foundation. Instead of being swallowed by melancholy, I understand that we have the chance to create our own holiday traditions now, as a new family, and make them just as unforgettable. Even if the adjustment takes some time. 

The Gladiator soundtrack is one of a kind. I feel like the movie wouldn't be as good without it. Even though I absolutely love movie soundtracks, I rarely listen to them on a regular basis except for a few exceptions, this being one of them. It seems to have so many layers that every time I listen to it, it moves me in a new way. Whether your holidays have been merry or gloomy, I want to remind you of this indescribable gift called life. A New Year is right around the corner and once again we have the opportunity to turn it into our very own master piece.

"Pain means you're growing.
Fear means you're risking.
Tears mean it mattered.
Take what hurts you and let it help you."
Mandy Hale

xxx

Music Mondays

If you haven't heard of Jazmine Sullivan, now is the time. This lady has been shining behind the curtains for some time, but I'm really hoping she'll get the attention that her level of talent deserves. Not only is she an incredible vocalist but also writes a lot of her own material. I admire her for her honest lyrics and fearless attitude that radiates that strong woman glow. I picked this particular performance because of it's controversial setting of singing a song written to women, to an all male crowd. "Stupid Girls" is one of her songs from her upcoming album that's released in January 2015. If you like what you heard, I would suggest listening to her other two singles "Forever don't last" and "Mascara", as well as dig into her previous material. I think it'll have you good till next Monday ;)

xxx

Purple Haze

Today was the first time in almost two weeks that I got to act normal. Despite a little cough that's been dragging along, I'm pretty much back to life as it was and it felt great changing those sweats into this cute knitted dress. Nothing could have made me happier than the wonderful glare of the natural phenomenon, aka the sun, that we only get in sample size pieces in the winter times. These rays were captured at almost noon, so that's as high as it gets right now. Luckily I've found my way out of the seasonal blues, otherwise last week would have knocked me out like Ali did Sonny. 

This season I've had to really practise how to motivate myself when there is no outside force pushing me forward. In all honesty, I had very low self-disciplinary skills to start with so it's been a bumpy road. When you add fear of failure and a need to please others around me, it was pretty much a recipe for disaster. But let me emphases, was. I still haven't achieved some of my greatest dreams, but I've taken steps and it's the small rivers that lead to the big, blue ocean. "Don't despise the small beginnings" has been the word of this season for me and I need to remind myself of it continuously, matter of fact, I think I need to write that down somewhere where I'll see it everyday. Like I've said before, we often have the tendency to look at talented people and think they were just born like that, when in reality their talent is the product of nothing fancier than passion combined with the sweat of their brow. The key to excellence in any area lies in how we handle the small things. How could I run my own business, if I'm not able to stay on top of my own ménage? The things I do in secret, when no one else is looking, are what define me. That's when the hearts true state is revealed and that's where I need to work on myself, if I'm longing for change. Learning how to clean up after myself, make it to the gym and sacrifice for someone else's benefit have been key elements in the pursuit of my ultimate goals. I had a moment while I was reading an article on how to deal with the day-to-day work of artistic development and the writer compared it to house chores. Just like you'll never finish your laundry (because there will be more the next day), you'll never be finished with your development, but it's the attitude towards it that counts. It was a moment of realisation to me, that by doing laundry (or any other activity needing discipline) I was enforcing the very traits that will help become a better singer. Of course it's easier to get myself doing something that I'm passionate about, but even the most wonderful things in life can bring a headwind that just needs to be pushed through. Whatever your occupation is at a moment, don't despise it, even if it's not your dream job. Look around you and find the areas where you can grow in. Whether it's social or administrative skills, take advantage of where you're at and work with the resources you've been given. Who knows, maybe they'll birth the needed catalyst to achieving your very dreams.

xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Wool dress: Malene Briger

Check Shirt: American Eagle

Leather jacket: Rock'n'Blue

Beanie: Beyond

Sneakers: Nike

Bag: Calvin Klein

Music Mondays

A week has gone by and it seems like I'm stuck with an seemingly unrelenting flu. You would think that after a week of lying in bed (and couch, and floor..), watching movies, reading and eating a lot of dark chocolate (because it apparently is the best remedy for a bad cough) would have me back on my feet already, but I guess the odds are against me this time.

Instead of continuing with my whining, I rather try take up a topic that can too easily come off as bland because of all the pep talks going around on every Instagram account. My subject is none other than thankfulness. But here's the deal: I don't mean the "think about how much better you're off than a lot of children in third world countries", because lets be honest…many of us have discovered that having a roof over your head and food in your fridge does make life a whole lot easier and yet doesn't seem to bring any real happiness. Yes, all the material things we have are not to be taken for granted but there's a reason why Finland, probably one of the best well off countries in the world, has extremely high depression and suicide rates. Material doesn't seem to be the cure for our upset hearts. So why thankfulness? Let me just say, that there's some kind of rule of nature, that it takes a lot of hard work to depress a thankful heart. I want to take us deeper because I just don't like being thankful by comparing (it's still comparing! I'm better off than my neighbour. Yay? Not.). For example, my heart really starts to fill up with hope and joy when I think about how my mother broke out of deep sorrow and turned her whole life around or when we got to spend two life changing years in beautiful California. It's those moments where prayers were answered and things fell into place in unimaginable ways. When our car broke down and someone sold us one for almost no money a few days later. Or when I found the man who really loves me and not just body, just like Alicia here. I literally started writing a list of my history of blessings and even though I'm deep under covers and sheets, my mind began to soar.


If your man hasn't come along yet, make up your own words and sing about what hopeless situation turned around for you? If you don't feel convinced just do me a favour and pick any moment in your life where it felt like even a small beam of sun shone through those clouds and meditate on it for a couple minutes. That's not too much asked, right? If you need a boost, this beat and Myers sultry voice lifts my spirit up every time I need that extra kick and I can't imagine it doing anything less for you. Happy Thankful Monday everyone!!

xxx

Night Night Owl

This week has been pretty rough. As an extrovert and external processor, laying home sick is nothing but torture. My poor husband is flooded with all the thoughts that I've had to keep in all day and can't hold back the moment I see his, another human beings, face. I have a tendency to go a little craycray when I'm left by myself for too long…so lets hope, for everyone's sake, that this will be over soon! Being sick also made it impossible for me to take this weeks photos, so here's an unpublished pic from last summer instead. Those colours make me almost feel that summer breeze….

Even before I got sick my sleeping rhythm was completely out of whack and staying up until 4am was rather a rule than an exception. Changing that was challenging because I don't have an early morning job and we don't have much daylight or sunshine this time of the year, so it doesn't really matter what hours I'm up or asleep. What I noticed was that I still had anxiety about having to get my life on track, because staying up all night and sleeping in are somehow detrimental. Why? As I looked further into it, there seems to be little scientific evidence on whether being an early bird or a night owl is the higher and better way to live. Early birds definitely have an edge because they fit better with our western society's schedule. It's difficult to thrive at work if you need to be ready for battle at 9am, and you only got a few hours of sleep. If typical workdays and classes occurred later in the day, it could be a whole different story. Early birds tend to be more optimistic and proactive and less prone to depression and addictions, where as the night owls tend to be more creative, risk takers and have higher cognitive abilities. Since both have their pros and cons, the wisdom lies in finding my peak performance times instead of following blindly some so called virtues.

This whole thought process led me to realise how important it is to question why I'm doing things the way I am. Because I like to improve and learn I often ask myself that question, but apparently I've let some traits slip through the cracks of everyday routines. Even though I purposefully fight against dwelling on what other people think of me and whether I fit into my environment or not, it still seems to have a hold on my thoughts. The question is: how would I really live, if I didn't limit myself with trying to live to the expectations of others, but only thrived to be the best me? How about you?



xxx

Photo by Adriana Dobrin

Music Mondays

I've been hit by the flu-truck, again, so today has gone by swiftly by just sleeping and watching Style Like U's amazing and inspiring "What's underneath" project. These interviews have been created by a mother&daughter duo, who's heart is to celebrate all forms of beauty, changing the mainstream ideal of beauty and promoting self-acceptance. Every interviewed person strips down, physically and emotionally, to empower people worldwide to express and accept themselves. I normally tend to shy away from nudity in the media simply because it's been so horrendously exploited, turning sex and sexuality into something cheap and disreputable. I think our bodies are something beautiful and invaluable and go hand in hand with our soul and spirit. But this project did it in a way where the body was exposed to the same measure as the soul and it unveiled something very graceful and powerful at the same time.

Todays pick of music is the legendary, one and only, Marvin Gaye. On days like these I can listen to him nonstop and never get tired of his sound. I guess that's one criteria for great music in my books, it still touches even after listening to it the thousandth time. As a singer I've realised the importance of finding that own sound, that distinguishes me from everyone else. The only way to get in touch with it is really just accepting myself for who I am and embracing it flaws and all. Whether you're a singer or not, we all possess our own sound and voice. It's your own style of doing things, the flavour and scent that's manifested in everything you create. We can live our lives in these ready set moulds, copying one another and wondering why it often doesn't fit right, or accept that we are all unique and can only thrive in being exactly ourselves and nothing else. What if Marvin Gaye hadn't embraced his voice and instead, tried to imitate James Brown? Sounds crazy but that's exactly what we all seem to do a lot of times.

There's no better way to say it than in the words of Shameless Maya: "Do you, Boo!"

xxx

Boss(y)

Two days ago I had a lovely coffee date with my friend and our chat contained everything from politics to what it's like to be a mother (she just had her second baby, and what a little cutie he is!). She shared an incident she witnessed on the playground not too long ago. There was a kindergarten group out at the same place and they were all playing and screaming, aka being kids. The group had equally boys and girls but instead of addressing the whole group, their leader told the girls to be quiet and behave, because apparently that's what's expected of girls at all times.

 Ever since I was young I can remember being called bossy, pushy and stubborn. I definitely embodied those traits and I feel bad for those who had to follow my rules on the playground… I guess this is my apology! But being labeled that way, made me feel like they were something I needed to change about myself and things that didn't have any value. There's been more talk about how girls and boys are treated differently from a very young age on, simply because of their gender. Don't get me wrong, I do think there are differences between male and female which is only a strength to mankind, but we have built our opinions on restrictive stereotypes that stem from a history of repressing women. Lately there have been multiple movements addressing this issue that we all thought was already fought for in the 70's by bra burning activists, and yet it is still well and alive in our modern society. I was 21 years old when I was asked to lead a group, because my superior was convinced of my natural leadership skills. I was baffled. Up to that point, I had often felt like that side of me was too loud, too big and needed to be contained. What I didn't realise, was that those very qualities could be my strengths when harnessed well. Too many women diminish their calling and desires, because they're afraid to step out of our culturally defined "woman, wife, mother" box. In the past I didn't want to be associated with being a feminist, but it was simply because of my narrow-mindedness and wrong perception of what feminism truly means. It still is a loaded word and causes a lot of mixed reactions, because some have used it to get revenge for their broken and hurting hearts. I'm not mad at men and I do shave my legs. I also want to see women reach their full potential, without any external restrictions holding them back and I think that's exactly what feminism is about.

If I had been a boy on that playground, I would have been most likely called ambitious, strong and a leader instead. It's time for us to set aside mindsets that rob half of the worlds population from pursuing freely their ambitions. Not all women have a desire to lead, but all should have the freedom to make that choice for themselves. If you think that women are unfit to lead, you've probably been fooled to believe a very restricted view on leadership. To this day, leadership skills have been defined by the men in charge, but a dominantly male leadership only represents half the truth. Differences have always seemed scary to human minds, whether it's been about race, gender or beliefs, but diversity is truly what brings forth the best in our world. Utilising the whole variety of our toolbox, instead of trying to do every job with a screwdriver, is just much more effective.

 This post contains maybe a few percent of my thoughts on this subject but I feel for you, my dear readers, and won't overwhelm you with too much writing even though I could go on and on... Please feel free to comment below, if you feel like discussing this further :)



xxx

Photos by Eino Manner

Sweater: Zara

Jeans: BikBok

Booties: H&M

Earrings: Zara

Music Mondays

Last night was my husbands 31st birthday and as we were dancing the night away, this song came up. One of our friends pulled out his Shazam app and cursed how slowly it was processing the music. My first reaction was obviously pure shock, that someone (who listens to this type of music) wouldn't know this song. So just to be sure that all you wonderful readers aren't deprived of Ll Cool J's & Total's goodness, I decided to make this today's pick for Music Mondays. I have to say that I miss the old school sound of strong rap lyrics blended with soft r'n'b vocals and can't stop smiling when one of these goldies is played. Maybe this will make you move a little as well and dance that stress away. Solo home dance parties are definitely one of my favourite remedy for any kind of tension. I challenge you to give it a try! All you need is some good music (like this), some space and an attitude to just let go. Close your eyes, don't think about what you look like, but focus on the music and let it move you. I guarantee it will at least put a smile on your face :)

xxx