Today was the first time in almost two weeks that I got to act normal. Despite a little cough that's been dragging along, I'm pretty much back to life as it was and it felt great changing those sweats into this cute knitted dress. Nothing could have made me happier than the wonderful glare of the natural phenomenon, aka the sun, that we only get in sample size pieces in the winter times. These rays were captured at almost noon, so that's as high as it gets right now. Luckily I've found my way out of the seasonal blues, otherwise last week would have knocked me out like Ali did Sonny.
This season I've had to really practise how to motivate myself when there is no outside force pushing me forward. In all honesty, I had very low self-disciplinary skills to start with so it's been a bumpy road. When you add fear of failure and a need to please others around me, it was pretty much a recipe for disaster. But let me emphases, was. I still haven't achieved some of my greatest dreams, but I've taken steps and it's the small rivers that lead to the big, blue ocean. "Don't despise the small beginnings" has been the word of this season for me and I need to remind myself of it continuously, matter of fact, I think I need to write that down somewhere where I'll see it everyday. Like I've said before, we often have the tendency to look at talented people and think they were just born like that, when in reality their talent is the product of nothing fancier than passion combined with the sweat of their brow. The key to excellence in any area lies in how we handle the small things. How could I run my own business, if I'm not able to stay on top of my own ménage? The things I do in secret, when no one else is looking, are what define me. That's when the hearts true state is revealed and that's where I need to work on myself, if I'm longing for change. Learning how to clean up after myself, make it to the gym and sacrifice for someone else's benefit have been key elements in the pursuit of my ultimate goals. I had a moment while I was reading an article on how to deal with the day-to-day work of artistic development and the writer compared it to house chores. Just like you'll never finish your laundry (because there will be more the next day), you'll never be finished with your development, but it's the attitude towards it that counts. It was a moment of realisation to me, that by doing laundry (or any other activity needing discipline) I was enforcing the very traits that will help become a better singer. Of course it's easier to get myself doing something that I'm passionate about, but even the most wonderful things in life can bring a headwind that just needs to be pushed through. Whatever your occupation is at a moment, don't despise it, even if it's not your dream job. Look around you and find the areas where you can grow in. Whether it's social or administrative skills, take advantage of where you're at and work with the resources you've been given. Who knows, maybe they'll birth the needed catalyst to achieving your very dreams.
xxx
Photos by Adriana Dobrin
Wool dress: Malene Briger
Check Shirt: American Eagle
Leather jacket: Rock'n'Blue
Beanie: Beyond
Sneakers: Nike
Bag: Calvin Klein
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