This week has been all about abiding. The dictionary defines abiding as to endure without yielding, to bear patiently, to remain stable or fixed in a state. I've come a long road from being an insecure and anxious girl who was obsessed with what everyone else thought of her. I've knocked out obstacles and faced fears to be where I am today, still in process but finally free. The key word has been abiding.
I've gone through ups and downs and at times felt somewhat unstable after having weeks of excitement and development met with days of hopelessness and a want to just give up and lay on the couch watching Netflix for the rest of my life. I obviously still have rough days (today was definitely one), but the overall feeling has become more stable. Even in the worst moments I'm able to find my peace more easily.
One of my tools has been meditating on truth. Many people like to meditate on nothing, emptying themselves completely, but I think we become what we think and instead of becoming nothing, I want to be filled with life and goodness. There's a difference between what's true and what's the truth. It has been true that I've been terrified of speaking in front of people, but the truth is that deep in my heart I've always loved entertaining and speaking (the moment I learned to talk I haven't really stopped, you can ask my husband..), but at some point I've partnered with fears that made me think otherwise. It is true that my past doesn't really back up my dreams and in some ways it might seem that I've missed my "moment", but the truth is that I can achieve my hearts desires if I only believe. How to know what truth is, is not that difficult because it is distinguished by one particular feature; truth always sets us free. I always acknowledge what is true but instead of letting it create anxiety in me, I decide to abide, to remain stable or fixed, in truth.
Today I want to take us back to the early 90's. I think this is one of the greatest performances of its time and yet hardly anyone has seen or heard it. Not only are Lisa Fischer's vocals literally impeccable, but the emotion she brings throughout the performance is what gives me the chills. The song in itself is incredibly intense, but her interpretation of it is what really draws you in. If you want to know more of this wonder woman's story, I recommend watching the documentary "20 feet from stardom".
xxx
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