Honest Heart

I found these pictures from our trip last summer to the US and since I haven't posted them, I decided to do it now. Better late than never, right? We had a wonderful time in San Diego, celebrating our dear friends' wedding. We were both part of the wedding party, so sadly I have no pictures of the ceremony, but even thinking about it now gives me chills… Just imagine the ceremony held outside, with San Diego's skyline as the backdrop, the bride walking up from a misty beach and the sun hanging low in the late afternoon. It was like from a fantasy. But honestly, even if I had had a camera in my hand, it would have been useless…some moments are meant to be seen with our bare eyes and not through a lens. After the wedding we went up to Los Angeles and I even had a chance to make a stop in my beloved NYC, but I'll post some of those pictures later.

I notice how writing my blog becomes more difficult when I'm not really connected to my heart. It's easy to fill every day with things to do, from morning till night, so that I don't have to ask myself how I'm really doing. Why am I feeling frustrated? I might blame it on the messy home, some annoying person or the horrible traffic, but if my heart was doing good, I wouldn't have these buttons to push on. What has triggered this restlessness? Pulling away from the pain seems to be the natural response, but I've learned that there's a greater reward in going towards it. Sitting down and letting myself feel my heavy heart, not being afraid of what it holds. Being honest to myself. Crying if I need to, even if I'm not sure why. Someone might think of it as a waste of time, but I see it as a strength. I rather keep track of my hearts inventory on a regular basis, than find myself unhappy and unsatisfied because I never understood to restock on what's missing.

xxx