Queen

It was a raining cats and dogs kind of day and in need for comfort I opted for a photo shoot on our balcony with a hot cup of tea making it real nice and cozy. Summer takes a long time to arrive up here and even if Spring generously gives some warm days, it usually stays in pretty brisk temperatures. Writing this blog, I often have many ideas on subjects I would love to write about, but my core value has been that I don't want this to become just a lecturing blog, but a real reflection of my journey. It's not always easy, since privacy is something I value, but I believe in the power of an honest testimony and if my journey can help even one soul, it has been well worth it.

When I did the Clifton Strengths Finder test, my number one strength was Futuristic. It basically means that the future fascinates me, I love to "peer over the horizon" and envision what could be, in very vivid and detailed images. I laughed out loud when I first read the description, because it was so accurate. "Wouldn't it be great, if…" has been one of my most used sentences. Basically, I'm a full on dreamer. The challenging part was, that even though I had no problem seeing myself in full action, doing the things I dreamed of, I didn't have the tools to actually make them happen. See, I could be the most gifted, inspiring and creative person on the planet, but if I did nothing else than sit on the couch, most probably, nothing will ever happen. No angel or magic is going to lift me up and suddenly put me where I dream to be. Even if God himself tells me who I am and what I will do in life, it still requires at the least my active partnership. Wanna know why?  Because we aren't puppets and we're not powerless. The reason for my inactivity was rooted in my belief, that I wasn't powerful to make them reality. It revealed how I saw myself; just like a puppet, running around in life, unable to affect the things taking place around me. Life is full of things that we can't change, our upbringing, things in the past, and they can create a challenge. They can make that mountain in front of us steeper, but guess what? We're also going to be the fittest when we reach the top. 

In my process, I've realised that I'm very blessed to not have been given sudden success and that when I was sixteen, I din't get everything I dreamed of. I wasn't ready. Even in nature, if you climb up a high mountain too fast, it will lead to the potentially serious and even life threatening mountain sickness, because you're body didn't have the time to adjust to not having as much oxygen. You've probably heard a million times, that it's the process that makes us rich, but it's also the process that determines whether we're going to last when we're on top. It's our inner world that determines a lot of what's going on on the outside. I heard of this project, where people who had been homeless for a long time were given brand new homes, palaces in their eyes. After a short period of time though, the homes were pretty much wrecked. Having to live on the streets, the people never had something like these houses to look after and take care of. Our inner world will always manifest on the outside. 

So instead of just waiting for that moment of success, I'm learning how to build something that will last. My inner world is being moulded. I'm learning to enjoy and live in the present, discovering the resources it presents. I'd rather be a Queen without a palace, than a pauper just living in one.

xxx

Photos by Anna Laulumaa

Sweater: Madewell

Jeans: Zara

Music Mondays (..or Wednesdays)

I know, this weeks Music Monday is horribly late and I don't really have any other excuse than that I've taken extra time to rest and replenish my heart and soul. So todays pick reflects my thoughts and emotions from the past days… I truly believe that whatever adversities we face, we are always equipped with everything we need to face them and to turn them into victories and upgrades. Often times the magnitude of the problem or hardship represents the size of the reward on the other side of it. When we're facing an enormous obstacle in front of us, it's crucial to find a different perspective than just staring at it day and night. We need to consider how far we've come this far, the barriers we've conquered and victories we've gained in the past to build up the confidence that this too shall pass. We also need to set our eyes on the goal and the journey to get there, so no matter how big the issue before us is, we see that it's only a small part of our overall journey and even if it slows us down for a moment, it won't be able to stop us. 

The Winans' album Heart & Soul has been playing on my stereo for days. I love how they've blended Gospel with RnB, creating such a smooth and lyrical flow. Playing this record in the mornings has been my re-set button for any gloomy and rainy days, giving that extra boost to remind myself that despite of any hardship there is so much to be thankful for. So much indeed, that after counting my blessings the gloominess has vanished into thin air…

xxx

Effective Rest

We are the generation whose Instagram feeds and Facebook pages are filled with motivational quotes, trying to inspire us to work harder, push through the pain and make things happen. In some ways I'm grateful for it because honestly, I'd rather be bombarded with encouragement than negative and depressing words. But we've all experienced that point where life isn't just that simple and hearing someone say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" makes you want to punch them in the face and ask if they still think that way. Last week was one of the heavier ones for me. I tried to follow all the rules and do the right things to get me out of that funk, but nothing seemed to work. The harder I tried to work and push through it, the more frustrated I became and everything I did, felt like running uphill and upwind. True success does take a lot of hard work and dedication, but what are the keys to being able to persevere when we're faced with physical and/or mental obstacles? 

I actually had to stop and take a moment to re-evaluate the situation. I noticed how I had been comparing myself to others and as a result, trying to make things happen like they did. It's good getting inspired by others and following the footsteps of those who have gone before us, but like my friend said it so well, we are like different trees and the growth process looks different for each of us. I've learned to nurture that quite inner voice and it had been telling me to stop and rest, but I was fighting it, because I was afraid. Somehow I thought that resting equaled giving up and I was too keen on doing the opposite. But when my frustration reached its peak, I was ready to surrender. Finally I took a day to recharge and meditate on truth and as I found my peace again, everything else began to flow from it. Even though this is a truth I've always known in my head, it took the experience for it to travel into my heart; one form of effectiveness is rest. If we continue on striving and toiling without taking the time to breathe and refocus our vision, we easily end up somewhere completely else than what was planned. I'm eager to run after my dreams and reach the stars, but most importantly I want my heart to prosper. What is it worth to have a fat bank account and success at your hand, when on the inside you're withering? Don't be afraid to listen to your heart, even if it takes you somewhere else than the "ten steps to being successful". Your life is worth more than money and your heart more precious than any riches.

xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Dress: Mango

Leather jacket: Zara

Booties: Zara

Cross body: Handcrafted in Argentina