Night Night Owl

This week has been pretty rough. As an extrovert and external processor, laying home sick is nothing but torture. My poor husband is flooded with all the thoughts that I've had to keep in all day and can't hold back the moment I see his, another human beings, face. I have a tendency to go a little craycray when I'm left by myself for too long…so lets hope, for everyone's sake, that this will be over soon! Being sick also made it impossible for me to take this weeks photos, so here's an unpublished pic from last summer instead. Those colours make me almost feel that summer breeze….

Even before I got sick my sleeping rhythm was completely out of whack and staying up until 4am was rather a rule than an exception. Changing that was challenging because I don't have an early morning job and we don't have much daylight or sunshine this time of the year, so it doesn't really matter what hours I'm up or asleep. What I noticed was that I still had anxiety about having to get my life on track, because staying up all night and sleeping in are somehow detrimental. Why? As I looked further into it, there seems to be little scientific evidence on whether being an early bird or a night owl is the higher and better way to live. Early birds definitely have an edge because they fit better with our western society's schedule. It's difficult to thrive at work if you need to be ready for battle at 9am, and you only got a few hours of sleep. If typical workdays and classes occurred later in the day, it could be a whole different story. Early birds tend to be more optimistic and proactive and less prone to depression and addictions, where as the night owls tend to be more creative, risk takers and have higher cognitive abilities. Since both have their pros and cons, the wisdom lies in finding my peak performance times instead of following blindly some so called virtues.

This whole thought process led me to realise how important it is to question why I'm doing things the way I am. Because I like to improve and learn I often ask myself that question, but apparently I've let some traits slip through the cracks of everyday routines. Even though I purposefully fight against dwelling on what other people think of me and whether I fit into my environment or not, it still seems to have a hold on my thoughts. The question is: how would I really live, if I didn't limit myself with trying to live to the expectations of others, but only thrived to be the best me? How about you?



xxx

Photo by Adriana Dobrin