Music Mondays

I don't know how many years I wasted trying to be something else than what I was. It seemed that there was always someone more gifted, smarter, prettier or talented than me. I guess it's part of growing up, looking up to people and imitating their ways in the search of the "right way to be", whatever that means to each individual. But in the process I began to despise who I was, fighting the walls of my existence, feeling like it was a prison and I was sentenced for life. 

It took years of healing from insecurities that finally began to create cracks in those brick walls and once and for all bust them, just so I could find out that I wasn't in a prison after all. It was more like a dreamy castle, but I had locked myself up in the darkest corner by my own actions. Instead of exploring the rooms of my identity, roaming the gardens of my heart and in the end just loving who I was made to be, I hadn't even looked through any of it. I had been like that ungrateful child who didn't want to open a gift, because the package didn't seem big enough.

Getting to know oneself is a lifelong journey, since we are created to evolve and grow constantly. Having a healthy relationship with yourself is the key to experiencing health in all other areas of life. It is also the key to unlocking the treasures that are placed only in your heart. Not understanding that, detesting what you've been given and disregarding it as not good enough, will deprive the world of the wonders only you can release to this world. 

My dear friend introduced me to this song (I had quickly heard it on the radio, but never really listened to it) and it took me right to the core of all of this. Her raw voice combined with this ingenious music video, moved my heart and gave me some epic goosebumps. Mostly because it's something original and unique...something no one else could deliver the same way. 

I hope it inspires you like it did me, to go search the castle of your heart and find the riches hidden all over.

xxx

Oh True Love

I love the moments when the outfit I pick reflects exactly how I feel on the inside. There's a power in expressing yourself freely. Wether it's through music, fashion or a spoken word, in that moment you get to release some of the gold hidden inside of you.

These striped pants are the perfect pair for a sporty racerback. Adding pops of neon creates such a juicy summer look. Don't be afraid to mix prints and colour, find your own balance and rock it!

Found these sneakers first at a skater shop in Santa Barbara last fall and since they didn't have my size I was happy to find them online. They've become my go to shoes, being so versatile. Not really much I couldn't wear them with!

This summer was the 6th I've spent married to the man of my life. I found love at a young age and it's interesting how despite all the talk ("Girl you crazy, you too young, you don't know who you even are yet, how could you know who you want, you're not able to make a decision like this etc…") it's been one of the best decisions of my life. I'm not trying to advertise getting married super young, for a lot of people that doesn't work out well at all. I actually wasn't at all the girl to dream about married life. Instead I had a great plan of graduating, working, establishing my own life, enjoying myself and then maybe someday meet a man to share it all with…and then ironically, life happened. 

Marriage has had it's stocks go down for a long time now. We all know the statistics of divorce rates and broken families. I don't know why marriage as an institution is being attacked, like there's something wrong with two people publicly committing their lives to each other. But I understand that disappointments invite fears and it seems smarter to rather save the wedding money for something more important at the moment. 

I come myself from the seemingly more common famille divorcé. So what made me not loose hope in true love?

I like to call marriage the greatest challenge. It's also one of the best places to grow (having kids is a whole other level). If you want a happy relationship, there's not much space for selfishness, fears, controlling, manipulating, envy...and the list goes on. So who the heck can do that?? The secret is in accepting the process. You can't expect perfection from the other unless you can deliver it yourself. As long as you have a partner with a good heart (hear the emphasis) and motivation to work on themselves you can concentrate on how you can become the best lover and friend, instead of wasting your energy on thinking of all the things your partner falls short of. That's called unconditional love. Even if he wasn't able to deliver what I need right now, I'll always give him my best. There are times when it doesn't come easy and God knows how many times I've failed, but that's why they say love is not a feeling but a choice and decision. A decision that has to be made every single day.

That might make it sound like too much work, and I won't lie, it IS a lot of work, but oh Lord the reward is far beyond comprehension. The intensely pure joy of sharing your life completely, growing together, becoming one… there's nothing that can come even close to the euphoria of a good, healthy, satisfying relationship. Every sacrifice made, every battle fought is forgotten the moment I get to run into the arms of my love and see in his eyes that he feels the same.

Love. It is the purest, most powerful force on this planet. In spite of what lies my circumstances try to fool me into, I have decided to always fight for love.

xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Racerback and Pants: Topshop

Sneakers: Nike Thea

Cross body: Rebecca Minkoff

Time To Be

Summer has finally arrived and I got the perfect hot red shirt to accompany it. There's something about the heat that makes my inspiration flow so much sweeter. I guess I was made for the tropics.

This Michael Kors bag is exactly the right size to fit all my treasures for a busy day but still being conveniently small.

My layering has changed from clothes to jewellery. I could just wear it all at once.

Aaaand here we go again! These past months have been quiet on the outside but busy on the inside. I was in California and New York City for 3 weeks all in all and I have to say it was not an easy trip to leave behind. It seems like every time I visit the US, I loose another piece of my heart and I don't know if there's much left anymore…

I'm going to be honest here. I've started to write this blog a thousand times and deleted it as many. My heart has been overflowing with thoughts but none of them have sounded quite right in their written form. Maybe they haven't been ready for the daylight, maybe I'll keep them marinating a little longer and they'll come out bursting with incredible flavour. Or maybe my inner perfectionist has come out roaring.. But to break the silence, here I am!

I just finished the Master Cleanse last week and I have to say it did good to me. For those of you who haven't heard of it or all you have heard is about a quick fix to loose weight, let me fill you in a little. The reason I started was my never-ending-upset-stomach-syndrome. Through trial and error I've learned that my digestion can't handle gluten or dairy very well. But because I am a lover of food, I've talked my self into having a little treat every now and then by the excuse that a little can't hurt anyone. Oh how wrong I was. After ending up at daily cramps and the face of a teenager (food allergies can cause all kinds of skin disorders) I was ready to do whatever to calm. things. down. 

A few friends recommended the Master Cleanse and at the hight of my frustration, I took on the challenge. Ten days of no solid food, only homemade juice consisting of maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water (all organic of course). Not forgetting the cup of detox tea in the evenings and a nice saltwater flush in the mornings. Going to birthday parties, BBQ get togethers and weddings wasn't necessarily easy, but now talking from the other side, it was all worth it. My skin cleared up and most importantly, me and Mrs. Digestion are at peace again!

I also took the time to slow down. It felt like not only my body, but also my soul and spirit needed some detox. It felt good not having a phone (it broke half way through), being out of everyone's reach and free from the distractions of social media. I was forced to process through stuff I had been putting off for quite a while. Pushing through the inconvenient and uncomfortable seems to never have a right time, but it needs to be taken or else we begin to shut down. Body, soul or spirit. 

In our hectic, achiever centred lifestyle it can seem irrelevant to really stop and nurture oneself. But when we understand how truly wonderfully we are made and a what a gift life really is, being might turn into something more important (and productive) than doing…

xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Shirt: Madewell

Jeans: Zara

Shoes: H&M

Bag: Michael Kors