Fear(less)

I still remember the moment I discovered these jeans at London's Selfridges. They spike up any outfit and give the perfect roughness a cozy sweater like this needs.

My Acne booties have been my go to item this past season and I can't wait to pair them with dresses and shorts once the weather finally warms up.

This past week I've thought a lot about fear. I was walking home in a horrible snow/slush storm when suddenly this thought pierced my mind… I don't have to be afraid of anything.

Why do we fear?
We've reduced fear to a natural and even healthy feeling of self protection that our ancestors needed to stay alive, but I've found it plenty of times more paralysing and limiting than in any way helpful. It has fed on my peace, eaten my confidence and consumed my joy. For some reason I've believed that there is something good in being afraid.
Rational fear keeps us alive, is what I've been taught. I need it, so that I won't put my hand into a hot oven or walk alone late in a dangerous neighbourhood. But why do I need fear as the motivator? Aren't we "evolved" enough to take care of ourselves, without using fear as motivation? What I've also noticed is, that when I let fear into my life in one way, it's not satisfied with just a small part, but wants to grow and slowly, but surely, take over. Leaving me stressed out and afraid for the most ridiculous reasons.

The thought of not having to be afraid has been a "truth" in my life for a long time, but it didn't become reality until that moment when it traveled from my mind to my heart. I'm not saying that I was somehow liberated of fear altogether, but I got grace to choose to not to be afraid on a whole new level. It became a personal truth, a part of me, instead of something externally learned.
Even though there are solid reasons to be afraid, I'd like to suggest that a huge part of our fears are not protecting but rather preventing us, from taking those risks that lead us to our dreams and eventually, living life to the fullest. Giving up fear also means giving up control. It's letting go of the things that are out of my hands (in the end the only thing I can control is myself!) and trusting that my life is truly governed by someone greater.

Letting go of fear is not an easy task, but it is rewarding. I've purposefully gone after the things that have intimidated and scared me in the past. In the end, I've only discovered greater levels of freedom as my fears have turned into actual strengths and what used to hold me down turned into the very stepping stones to my destiny.



xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Sweatshirt: H&M

Jeans: Karen Millen

Boots: Acne

Upgrade

This down jacket saved my social life during the coldest weather. Without it, I would have always opted for a hot cup of tea and a cozy night in instead of putting even one foot out the door.

Anyone who has lived in a cold country or state, knows that keeping your feet warm is key. That's why I got these bad girls! 

It's only a few weeks from when we took these pictures, but the weather and atmosphere has already changed a lot. It was about -20C (-4F) and the Gulf of Finland was frozen so that we were able to walk on its ice. Now, almost all snow has melted and spring is starting to rise her head. Just as the earth is revealing itself, new thoughts and ideas surface and what used to work just doesn't seem to feel right anymore. I think we've been created to constantly grow and evolve and that often times means letting go of what has felt comfortable or even safe in the past. The transition phase can be tough, since all you're feeling is out of place. Before I used to hate that feeling and try to "fix it" (usually just with a packed calendar so that I didn't have time to think about it) , but I've learned the value of it. It has been the force moving me forward, driving me out of my comfort zone and not letting me settle. I  don't know if I had moved to a different continent, quit my job to pursue my passions or started to change my lifestyle to be healthier without that subtle, but persistent sense of restlessness. So don't get frustrated, if the old ways of doing things aren't effective anymore. 

It might be time for an upgrade.

xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Down Jacket: Woolrich

Shoes: Wolverine

Confessions Of A Gymaholic

For the past few months I've been constantly reaching out to simple and comfy outfits. Maybe it's just a natural instinct of adjusting to the shades around me, but I've found it hard to pull out any strong colours or prints. I've had a lot of time to reflect and process this season and you can definitely read my mood by looking at what I'm wearing. I think I've always worn my heart on the sleeve.

High boots make it possible to wear skirts and dresses in the winter. Not to mention that they look fabulous with any outfit.

Winter makes me want to stay in my comfort zone and what better time to really work on that self-discipline! I find myself often thinking how I wish I had a stronger character in this or that and the opportunities always seem to rise for me to start working on them.

Before I used to admire people with self-discipline, thinking that there was something special about them, something I didn't possess. I tried to come up with excuses like I'm just not wired that way.

A music teacher once implied to his students that everyone is naturally lazy. That laziness is something we have to fight off and that's how he motivated his students to practise. I disagree. It's true that self-discipline comes easier to some, maybe they are wired differently or their parents were able to teach that value in a way that it stuck, but I honestly think that self-discipline comes naturally for us. It's what we were created for and laziness is rather unnatural. Look at the people laying on their couches and letting their life slowly slip away, they are miserable! 

It wasn't until the first time I decided to sign up to a gym with my friend who already had been bitten by a gym bug, that my view on things started changing. She became my "personal trainer", because of her relentless ways of instructing me and always pushing me to my limits. After sticking to it for a while, I realised that all my life until to that point, I had listened to lies saying "You can't do it, you don't have what it takes." 

The beauty of self-discipline began to unwrap before my eyes. First I had to understand that I am powerful to make great choices and follow through. It meant not being afraid of pain and telling those undermining lies to go back to where they came from. Then I had to get my motivations straight. The promise of a "perfect body" didn't do it for me. Knowing my worth and recognising how extraordinarily I was created inspired me to take use of all the potential placed in me. Why would I live on just a small percentage of my capacity when I have the option of 100%?

My gym experience ended up building my mental capacity more than anything else. I found strength in me that I didn't even know existed. Problems began to shrink in my eyes, because I had adapted the mentality of "I can do it". My emotional intelligence got it's share as well, as I learned to face the pain and walk through it instead of avoiding it. Self-discipline turned from an unachievable proof of character to an attainable part of my nature and now I've been focusing on applying it to every other area of my life. 

The moment you stop being a victim and are ready to take responsibility for your life, you will discover  new strength and beauty hidden inside. You are the captain of your soul. Don't just drift without a course letting the waves determine your direction, but keep your eyes focused on the destination set before you.

xxx

Photos by Adriana Dobrin

Sweatshirt: Madewell

Skort: Zara

Boots: Zio